That's a good thing right?

So I found out today one of my credit cards that I owe $ to filed bankruptcy like two years ago. Glad I never paid them. Hopefully I'll never have to. I wish the other 4 cards would file bankruptcy.

It's still raining in my life

This week has just been more stress in my life. I have alot of money problems and since I moved back from Virginia I've just been ignoring them. Partly because I was just hoping they would go away and partly 'cause I was hoping I would get a better job than BJ's and be able to take care of it. But like everything else in my life that didn't happen. I didn't get a better job yet and the problems haven't gone away. And they came back in a big way this past week. I've pretty much decided that I'm not gonna go back to school like I had wanted to. Mainly cause I got turned down for the NY TAP grant. I can't afford to take out more school loans. I'm gonna be stuck at BJ'S for the rest of my life. And I don't want to be. It's just really depressing. It's gonna take me probably about 5 years to get completely out of debt with my credit cards. Probably longer to pay off what school loans I already have. I can't defer those forever. Maybe if the cost of living didn't keep going up maybe I could save a little here and there to go to school but just putting gas in my car is starting to take away from bills.

No. I'm not looking for a handout. Just telling the god-awful truth. This economy sucks and I don't see it getting any better. Especially with the monkey we have sitting in Washington. If I could buy a new car, I would buy a hybrid so that I could save money on gas but I can't even pay the $35 inspection for the crappy Kia I have now. I'm lucky I have a roof over my head and a great boyfriend who pays for everything (I pay majority of rent). One can only call their 'rents so many times to ask for money. It's not fair to them and frankly, I feel extremely guilty for it.

This post is turning into something I don't want it to turn in to. Later.

Weird dreams lately

So lately I've been having some really weird and vivid dreams. I've probably already told everyone about the dream I had a week ago where BJ'S Wholesale Club was under attack by robots. That was a fun one. All the employees were on the receiving dock and robots were literally attacking us. Shooting lasers at us and everything. Our one manager, T.C. , who walks really fast didn't know they were there nor did the robots know he was there. He's just walking around kinda like in the old pac-man game. I catch up to him and tell him that we are under attack and he says something like "I'm on top of it." and takes off. 5 seconds later he comes back and he gives everyone their paychecks and Amtrak tickets to get away from the robots. Which we do. I don't think I'm eating Gitsis cheeseburger plate at 11pm and then going right to bed every again 'cause that was just to weird a dream for me.

Another dream I had was that I had run out of gas in a city I've never been to and I couldn't find a gas station. Then I had one just last night that I was suffocating and couldn't get any air no matter how hard I tried and no one cared. They ignored me. I also had one last night where I killed some guy and tried to bury him outside my bedroom window.

I wonder what all these stupid dreams mean. My subconsciousness has got to be telling me something. Anyone have a say as to what they all mean?

In my life when it rains, it pours!

So this is going to be short and sweet (hopefully) since I'm posting this from the library. Last night, my computer crashed and burned. I've tried to recover it and it stills is making this horrible grinding noise and I basically am done with it. So until I can come up with about $600 (at least) to get a new computer I probably won't be updating very much if ever. I've got to get one soon though 'cause I do everything on the computer. Like my taxes, financial aid for school, pictures...it's all gone. Well, the pictures and all my writing and music. I can still access my other stuff online by going to the library but that's still gonna be a pain in the butt. Good thing it's spring outside and not winter.

I had sent an email out to people asking for their AOL screennames 'cause I lost them all but I've pretty much decided it's worthless since I can't use the computer anyway. What the heck am I gonna do for entertainment? I already don't leave the house because there's no money to leave it with. I already read books in 2 days. I guess I'll be going on long walks. Oh and if anyone wants to give up their hours at work, let me know.

Well, goodbye for now. Hopefully, it won't be for long.

guess who!

guess who!, originally uploaded by toriandme.

So I told a couple of people yesterday that I was gonna post this picture that is now over 10 years old. How fast time flys. Enjoy.