Today started out like any other Friday. The alarm went off at 4:45am and I was on my way to work by 5:30am. Did the usual at work...got in trouble for some stupid shit that is still pissing me off, ran around with my head chopped off, goofed off for 30 minutes...the norm. At 1:45pm, I left work and went to the bank then the gas station for some smokes, then home by 2:15pm. Went in the house, paid some bills online and then went back out to my car about 3:05pm to pick up my oldest godson from school. Started up the car, took off the emergency brake (it's a manual), popped it in reverse and proceeded to go NOWHERE. I took it out of gear and put it back in gear thinking I hadn't done it the first time and proceeded to go NOWHERE. At this point, I was a little worried. Not so much that something was wrong with my car but more of, how the hell am I going to pick up Hector at 3:20pm.
I ran in the house and called his mother and told her that I couldn't pick him up which luckily was okay because she was able to call the school right before they got out to tell him to go to afterschool rec. Immediately after I called Orlando (her ex?-boyfriend) and said "My car won't move. Fix it." And as much as I can't stand to even write this next sentence, like a knight in shining armor he was at my house in 20 minutes and was trying to drive it.
He tried reversing it, which made the car move about 2 feet and then he put it in gear and move it forward another 2 feet. While he's doing this, I'm noticing that my back wheels AREN'T MOVING. I'm thinking "holy shit, that can't be good. It's like the emergency brake is still on or something." He says " Your wheel is frozen." Huh? How the hell can it freeze when I just drove it to two different places and was only in the house for 45 minutes. Am I just lucky? Why did I pay my bills already? I have no money left. Shitfuck.
So he proceeds to take my tire off and all the parts. I'm a girl. I have no idea what makes up the part of rotating a tire. Anyway, when he got the last part off, my brake shoes FELL ON THE GROUND. Yeah, no brakes. They were completely off. And not just completely off. Broken too. Oh the joy. The happiness. He can fix those. I can buy those. It's fixable. How the hell did I not notice my brakes weren't working. Slap me like a monkey and call me clueless*. Holy shit. So we jump in his car, go down the street to Auto Zone and spend $25 on a pair of brake shoes. Now mind you, it's 20 degrees outside and the sun is going to be going down in less than an hour.
He struggles with the first set of brake shoes and while he's working on it, Jim comes home. So I go inside and try to entertain my youngest godson who didn't go to school today 'cause he was sick and he proceeds to talk to me about "Harry Potter this" and "Harry Potter that". At which point, I go back outside 'cause every day I've had this kid at my house and every day he talks about Harry Potter and frankly, I hope J.K. Rowling kills off Harry Potter in her last book just so I don't have to hear about him anymore.
Anyway, I go back outside and as I'm walking up to the driveway, Jen (the kids mother, my best friend) calls Orlando's phone as Jim's putting down the jack. As the car touches the ground, it starts rolling in to the street because the moron twins didn't make sure that the emergency brake was on. Orlando jumps in the car and slams on the brake and in the process hangs up on Jen which really isn't a big deal or all that important to the story.
So Orlando jacks up the other side of the car so that he can check the brake shoes and as he takes off the last part, the other set of brake shoes FALL ON THE GROUND. Somehow, I had been driving with absolutely, positively no rear brakes. I'm amazed I haven't killed myself yet.
And just to top off the great day, as he was putting the second tire back on the car, he noticed this shiny thing going all the way around the tire. Yeah, the metal that is in the tire, the part you should never see 'cause it's buried so far under the rubber, was showing through. I need tires. At least one to get through the winter.
But as I always tell Jim when something goes wrong: It could have been worse. It wasn't something that couldn't be fixed and luckily I had the money to fix it. Sucks I still had to spend $45 out of $75 but at least I can drive to work tomorrow. I just have to make sure to move the brick behind the tire. The emergency brake is really soft right now until I drive the car around for a bit. I don't want the car in the middle of the road while I'm sleeping.
Later.
*What the hell does that even mean?
1 comment:
Sorry about your car (and glad you got it fixed), but that post was really entertaining! Kim, you definitely should be a writer. If I can read all that, and you didn't write it to try to hold my interest (someone that hates reading, haha), then you got some talent.
And, I miss you! Call me or IM me (I have my IM on at work).
Post a Comment