my soul is crying inside
I walk around showing my mask to the outside world
never let them see you scared, afraid, lonely, sad
but inside I am screaming
praying to god
Let this pain go away!
I can't live like this anymore

but no one cares
or
no one sees
cause I can't let them

the shame of putting myself on a pedestal
and falling so far down
I can't even recognize myself

I could cry for days and never stop

no one knows how desperately I want to be beautiful like her
I want to take a knife and slice the fat off my body the way they slice the fat off the steaks at a butcher's
but I can't
because that's crazy and the easy way out

I want to scream at God, Why did you take my mother?
Why couldn't you have taken me?
She was gone way too fast
I didn't have enough time to talk to her
All those years that I couldn't be bothered and now
I would give away EVERYTHING just to hug her again

He says when you gonna make up your mind
when you gonna love you as much as I do
when you gonna make up your mind
cause things are gonna change so fast

where's my fairy godmother?
she's too busy helping Cinderella get ready for her prince
Oh how I could scream at the indignity of it all
Where's my prince charming?
taking a goddamn nap on the couch
there's no ball to attend
and the glass slipper broke years ago

this is my life