I know I should be updating this more often but quite frankly, my life is sorta kinda out of control and I don't know what to write about and I have to try to wrap my mind around some stuff and figure out what in the hell I'm doing. So I'm taking a break from this blog until sometime near my birthday (august 30th). I'll be back eventually. I just gotta figure out who the heck I am.
In the meantime, I want everyone to delurk! If you visit here, leave me a comment. I'm interested to find out who it is that visits here.
7.31.2006
7.24.2006
Can You Fix me?
Sometimes I just feel if I was beautiful everything would be okay. I want it to be like the movies where the ugly ducking grows into this beautiful woman and everyone loves her and the movie ends happily ever after.
I just want to scream!
It just feels like there is something missing from my life. I'm not happy. I've isolated myself lately from my friends. I desperately want to feel connected to someone on some level and I just don't seem to be able to.
I want someone that says "bless you" when I sneeze. I want someone who tells me I'm beautiful every few days. Someone that says "yes I love you" without it sounding like they are saying that to their mother. I want to be loved passionately and deeply.
I want to be normal. I want to be unique. I want to be thin. I want to be beautiful. I want to be able to laugh and not have it feel so alien to me. I want to be something...anything.
I want to feel alive again.
When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
When the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
and ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
High up above or down below
when you too in love to let it go
If you never try you'll never know
Just what your worth
Lights will guide you home
and ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears streaming down your face and I
Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face and I
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
~coldplay
I just want to scream!
It just feels like there is something missing from my life. I'm not happy. I've isolated myself lately from my friends. I desperately want to feel connected to someone on some level and I just don't seem to be able to.
I want someone that says "bless you" when I sneeze. I want someone who tells me I'm beautiful every few days. Someone that says "yes I love you" without it sounding like they are saying that to their mother. I want to be loved passionately and deeply.
I want to be normal. I want to be unique. I want to be thin. I want to be beautiful. I want to be able to laugh and not have it feel so alien to me. I want to be something...anything.
I want to feel alive again.
When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
When the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
and ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
High up above or down below
when you too in love to let it go
If you never try you'll never know
Just what your worth
Lights will guide you home
and ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears streaming down your face and I
Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face and I
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
~coldplay
7.21.2006
Dear Mom
On Monday, you would be turning 57. Instead of telling everyone what you have missed in the almost 5 years you've been gone, I've decided to celebrate your life through pictures. In the 52 years you were alive you have been a daughter.
a wife
a mother
a grandmother
Happy Birthday.
a wife
a mother
a grandmother
Happy Birthday.
7.14.2006
What am I forgetting?
I keep staring at the calendar trying to figure out why today feels so important and for the life of me I can't figure it out. As far as I can tell, there are no birthdays, anniversary's, weddings or deaths that I'm aware of. It's driving me nuts thinking that I'm forgetting something. Ugh.
7.10.2006
7.07.2006
7.02.2006
June '06 in Review
I know that some of you may have already read this over on my myspace account, but I'm being lazy and really don't have anything new to blog about so just deal with it. Alrightie?
I figured I would do a "month in review" cause I figured it would be a good way to put things in perspective. On with the show!
On June 1st, I participated in my very first marathon. Ever. It was the JP Morgan Chase Corporate 5K Challenge. It was something that I quite honestly, I wasn't sure if I would be able to do. But with daily walks with Kacie and support from my co-workers I finished in an hour. I impressed myself. Do I think I will do another one? Probably.
On June 15th I saw an ex-boyfriend I haven't seen in YEARS. All I have to say about that topic is that "He's an ASSHOLE!" Moving on.
On June 21st, my youngest godson, Joe, graduated from kindergarten. I can't believe he's going to be 6 years old next month. Where did the time go? Can all the kids in my life possibly stop growing? They are getting too big!
June 23rd, I saw my friend Maica, that once again I haven't seen since I moved to Virginia. I missed her so much and she really did help me to put my life in perspective. Thank you, Maica darling, for being a good friend to me!
Of course June 24th, Greg and Rae threw another awesome party. It was the best time I've had in a long time and yea for going to work the next day on only 3 hours sleep. And I thought I was getting old! HA!
So that's my month in review. Can't wait to see what July brings.
I figured I would do a "month in review" cause I figured it would be a good way to put things in perspective. On with the show!
On June 1st, I participated in my very first marathon. Ever. It was the JP Morgan Chase Corporate 5K Challenge. It was something that I quite honestly, I wasn't sure if I would be able to do. But with daily walks with Kacie and support from my co-workers I finished in an hour. I impressed myself. Do I think I will do another one? Probably.
On June 15th I saw an ex-boyfriend I haven't seen in YEARS. All I have to say about that topic is that "He's an ASSHOLE!" Moving on.
On June 21st, my youngest godson, Joe, graduated from kindergarten. I can't believe he's going to be 6 years old next month. Where did the time go? Can all the kids in my life possibly stop growing? They are getting too big!
June 23rd, I saw my friend Maica, that once again I haven't seen since I moved to Virginia. I missed her so much and she really did help me to put my life in perspective. Thank you, Maica darling, for being a good friend to me!
Of course June 24th, Greg and Rae threw another awesome party. It was the best time I've had in a long time and yea for going to work the next day on only 3 hours sleep. And I thought I was getting old! HA!
So that's my month in review. Can't wait to see what July brings.
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